Post by Red DeGoblin on Aug 12, 2014 10:51:40 GMT -5
Letter Posted on Pachamama's door:
To Whome it May Concern If You're Looking For Red's Herbal Emporium!!! Which we don't have a sign for yet! But we will!
I am so excited! Granny let me go to the Feast and I had a great time, and guess what I found in the vinyard?
BEES!!!! I found a queen bee who's hive had been destoyed by high winds, she said it happens all the time and she was happy to come home with me to Kyranthia to start over since I told her we don't have much wind, just alot of rain and I mean alot of rain. She said rain is fine. She brought with her several of the families who lived with her before, and I think we have enough to start our own hives!
I am learning about bees and I learned that the Forest Flame plant is used to make smoke to get the bees to come out so we can collect their HONEY! FOR MEAD! I found alot of Forest Flame there in the vinyard too and I was gonna give it to Aunt Z but now I think I'm going to keep it for us for the bees.
I also found some groops for wine, they're red so we can make red wine. I found some little green umples too, to make some umple brandy with.
This weekend I was visiting Hobelf [IRL] and I neglected to wear my protective red cloak. Well, ironically I walked right into a angry beehive [IRL] and got stung I-know-not-how-many times and had a pretty bad allergic reaction. It is good to know that I'll have some help with the honeybees I got at the vineyard, because although I still love them, bees are now a little creepy to me.
Oh and I should mention that Aunt Zawanga has done nothing but rant about what a clumsy obnoxious Hobgoblin Calendria is going to be, she is blaming her for not looking out for me. She said if Hobelf can't handle a few bees she has no business showing off her damned horns. She said she still stinks like elf so she'll always be a halfbreed, and she said she can't wait to get Hobelf on the pointy end of her spear, and she keeps hollering all kinds of stuff like that. Said she'll throw her into the cracks of Gul-Morthas to see if she's really Hobgoblin enough, and if not she's gonna tear the horns right offa her head before she throws her back in to be finished off. Yea, she's pretty mad.
I don't really think it was Hobelf's fault I got stung, but Aunt Z doesn't see it that way. I didn't tell her about the bees from the vineyard or she'll probably try to get them to sting Hobelf alot of times like Hobelf's bees got me.
Thats not fair Red! I told you that I had to leave and that you would be on your own. I told you to be careful! Why would you go looking for bees when you were not wearing your cloak? I hope that you are alright though. You have to explain to Z that I needed to leave or I would have been in a lot of trouble. If we did not go out drinking the night before, none of this would have happened. I don't want Z to tear off my horns, they are just starting to come in nice and full. Oh, she is probably so mad at me. And your Aunt Z is not an easy person to explain things to. Great.
Seriously Calendria?!!?? SERIOUSLY?!??!?!!! Did you HAVE to bring up the drinking the night before? Aunt Z saw this and now I'm in trouble too. Thanks. Thanks alot.
By the way, she's not buying your story about having to leave, so you'll have to do better than that. She asked me if it was true and I said "What do I know? I'm just a goblin." and she snorted at me. Snorted!! At me! All because of your stupid tattling on me for drinking. Which she wouldn't even know if it wasn't for your stupid bees. So, yea, you and your stupid bees.
Me and my stupid bees? They don't attack me. If I was to go down with you, you would have been fine. Plus, you did not ask me for permission before you went down into my land, to gather bees. They must have been very upset with you. No wonder you almost had an allergic reaction. Z and Pachamama must have taught you better than that. I will explain to Z when I get back up to Valderain's gate, what happened. You should know better not to go anywhere without your cloak. You aren't a child, I should not have to treat you like one. Did you not say at the feast that you were old enough to drink now anyways, which is why you are collecting bees to brew things?
Well, first off, I wasn't there to gather "your" bees. I was collecting jars for honey. Ask the trolls who guard the piles of stuff. There was a sign that said "stuff for sale" so I went to see the stuff. The trolls said if I could find some jars amongst the stuff, I was welcome to take them if I gave them some coin. Which I did. By the way one of the trolls got stung too so you should really do something about "your" unruly bees.
Second, since when do people even believe me when I say anything? I told those people at the feast I was old enough so I could have the wine. I tricked a halfling pirate like that once, and she told me it was 2 copper for drinks, so I drank all night had a great old time, for 2 copper! I think that was the night my sword got swiped. Anways, truth is, I don't really know how old I am when it comes to that sort of thing. In goblin years I never will be old enough, and in human years I'm older, so .... who knows. Maybe you're right. Not about the bees, but about that I'm not a child and Granny and Aunt Z should know it and stop treating me like it. Thats why I'm starting my own business. Making the meade. So they will know. Not because I want meade or anything.
Good luck with Aunt Z, she's even madder now! Since you openly claimed the bees as yours, she's removed the "benefit of the doubt" and she's gonna get you. Oh man she's gonna get you.
I call them mine because they live on my land. Not because I have ownership of them. The trolls aren't mine either, I don't even know why they are there actually. I shall look for them, because they are not there now. I saw the sign, by the way. So I do not doubt your story. The bees asked for my permission to live there, they give me honey in exchange for a safe place to live. Just like I say "my" land, is not really my land. I say my land because I use it. I asked, the earth said it was alright to live there and make my home there. You were a guest. Did you ask the bees if it was alright for you to go rummaging through their house? I can not find them now, so I can not ask them. Like I said, Z and I will speak when I get back to Valderain's gate. I hope you aren't in too much trouble. And the pirate, she seems dumb. Most pirates I know, including my sister who is a pirate, is not as dumb as she looks. I do hope that you are alright though. If you are still in pain I can send some healing potion your way by courier. I will talk to the bees when and if they return. As for canning supplies, I have a few jars that I am not using, they were for herbs but I am not using them now. If you would like them, I will send them with the courier as well.
Oh wow you got her going!! She is laughing so hard she's doing that knee-slapping thing that is SO annoying, She said you sound so much like an elf it's not even funny, but it actually is so funny that she's laughing at you.
Oh gosh no, now she's laughing at her own jokes, she wants to know how you're going to "explain" anything when her spear has sliced you in half? she said "Who will explain, your elven half or your hobgoblin half? one's busy hugging the earth and the other's busy admiring her woosey little horns"
Now she's dancing around howling and poking her spear at some kinda little doll she has hanging on her wall. She is SO wierd.
Thanks for the healing, I'll take it, and the jars too.